The Working Place For The Nice Girl

http://jobs.aol.com/articles/2010/06/24/nice-girls-still-dont-get-the-corner-office/?ncid=webmail

I just read this article and this topic was on my list of things to blog about - mainly the spirit of the workplace lately and it's progression over this difficult time, with this recession and past lay-offs - it has changed dramatically, no one can deny that. Not only are most people not getting raises for fifth year in a row, they have been asked to take furloughs, unpaid vacations and cut back dramatically on hours. Resulting in, at least in my personal situation of a 35% income loss, and to some a great more. Plus, we all know that everything else, like the cost to consumers is on the rise. These things plus other stressful situations is making everyone a bit more cranky! No more mr or misses nice guy!?

I know I have found myself trying to figure out the best way to deal with it all. Being a young woman, who already had some issues with the "working world" (yes, the "Good 'ol Boy" system still lives, and being blond doesn't help), it has been challenging and I do not have any clear directives as of now. Because as the article stated - no one "wants" to be the "bitch", but you can't constantly be the one everyone "abuses" either. I love how articles like this always have the same advice: "take the middle road", or "be a little of both - don't be a push over, but don't be mean - either way, no one will want to work with you!".

But they don't exactly tell you how. And yet I still know both kinds of people in my work place and no, no one wants to work with them. Yes, I have ideas about how these people could be better, but it still wouldn't make them "middle of the road". I would consider myself middle of the road and consistent. I don't say "yes" on good days and "no" on bad days, although I will say "come back later!" I take on the work load I want and think I can handle. I also take on things I think will grow or challenge me. I don't take on things volunteers can do, I tell people to "go get volunteers!" or "can the committee get together and do this at a meeting". I try not to make more work for myself, but I also feel like sometimes I dilute the work I am doing. My attention is so spread out, hardly any one project gets my full attention. Plus, friends complain to me, that there are the pet projects from upper management. Despite a declining economy and less staff - pet project still exist...damn! Those are my "PET" peeves, I hate pet projects (for other people). I'll admit I have one occasion. However, if I had more time, there are a couple of work projects I wish I could do better.

That being said, I am doing the best I can. I do believe others are doing the best they can and I give them the benefit of the doubt. However, if the recession is just enough to throw you over the edge - jump back and take a second to think about what your about to do. Making a scene, "cracking up" or having a melt down, is just not healthy for anyone. And right now it doesn't seem like it's not going to save your job or get people off your back. 'The mentality is "lay-low" and "stay off the radar" or "don't bring attention to yourself". It's everyman for himself! You don't want to be a "target", because that could mean you could lose your job.' That's what I have heard anyway. How is that possible - how did we get here?

Just by bringing up the slightest thing, shedding light on an inequality or uneven work load, or a hostile environment, make YOU the target? What happen to the squeaky wheel? They REPLACED it! Or in many cases they took it off and made the other three wheels work that much harder...

So the "Nice Girl" is someone totally different today, than just a year ago and will be totally different I think after this recession. Right now, there are just too many factors and variables to consider in each work place. If you have a nice working relationship with your supervisor or a mentor in your work place - ask them. If you really have to or want to say "NO!" to someone or something, ask them first for advice. Same goes for reporting inappropriate behavior or discrimination, ask them for advice on who and how to report it. It might just mean, keeping a log of it for right now and waiting it out!