Leave No Child Inside

Leave No Child Inside
Just another beautiful day!

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

What do you remember about your childhood? Good or Bad?

Now after reading this book (Maybe Baby), my quest to understand my "relationship" with being adopted, my self "inventory" of becoming a mother - I am confronted with a theory that: No one liked their childhood. Hmmmm. Really? Looking back there is alot that tortured me; things, people; challanges and places that I didn't like. But did it ruin my childhood? Everyone is happy to fill your ear with their my-childhood-sucked-more-than-yours stories, but what about all the good stuff that happened too? I have more to add to this, but please let me know... what do you remember about your childhood and was it overall: good or bad?

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Playground Politics

So I texted a couple friends, my mom and my sister about this little boy that threw a stuffed animal at Eme today. I was just saying to them; I could of spanked him, or very easily started crying. I don't know who was more hurt by the ordeal...clearly not Eme, not bothered one bit she went on to play with a ball.
These are my favorite replys:
1) Did you throw it back?
2) That only means he likes her
3) What a little shit!
4) ...kids are at that age...
5) Where was your tazor?
And finally my moms (insert loving motherly voice) = "honey, it's totally normal to feel that way, you will do anything for your kid, include kill another kid!"

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Getting lucky...again?

Reading "Maybe Baby" - a collection of letters by real people, deciding to have or not to have a baby, or additional babies in some cases. A look into some peoples obsession with having children and how they "force" that on others, how some people choose NOT to have children and wish others would just leave them alone about it. That lingering sense of only "feeling" complete by having children, and so on... it's interesting. I guess I got the book becuase I wanted to ready what others thought when deciding to have another baby; maybe I thought, it would help to know the motavation behind the initial decisions to have or not have children in the first place. I can't alway make sense of my thoughts on the subject and I would say that "society" may play a role and sometimes makes it difficult to sort through my own feelings.

Which lead me to ask - when people find out I had an EASY pregnancy, an EASY 5 hour birth and now have an EASY baby - why do they say "oh, just wait till the next one!". Is a family only allowd one good baby? Will I be "punished" for having it easy and therefore "cursed" with a difficult baby in my future? Maybe no one can really apprechiate my journey in motherhood because I haven't had to deal with a "bad" baby. Somehow I got "lucky" the first time around and God might be keeping track to make sure he even's the score. If not God, then who. Who is keeping track of who gets good babies and who gets bad babies. And, if they are going to have more than one, who makes sure at least one of them is "bad"? I am not sure I understand this "spitful" universe where "bad baby karma" exsist. But people seem pretty certain they understand the role of these "Baby Gods" and that my "luck" is about to run out... Hmmmmmm?

P.S. I know for certain it is NOT Mother-In-Laws. Somewhere around our first anniversary she told Rich " I hope you have a baby just like you!", she still claims he does not deserve Eme.